Fear. The Old World Order.
Yours. Truly. | Tuesday, April 21, 2015 -- 8:31 AM EDT
"They who seek to establish systems of government based on the regimentation of all human beings by a handful of individual rulers...call this a new order. It is not new and it is not order." - Franklin D. Roosevelt March 15, 1941
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkLYrunZ29I
Well.... All I can say is that with each waking moment, it gets a little more weird... but maybe a little less weird.....
As I was getting ready today, after I uploaded the previous entry, my mom called me.
“What's with the urgency to get these pants...? They're wool and the winter is far away..”
“You didn't get them?”
“Dad was looking for his 10 percent off....”
Of course I know that maybe they think that I am gearing up to head off to the woods... concerned that maybe I am gonna leave soon or something.... maybe not ordering it would delay that or something...
Regardless, I just shrug it off.... I was trying to upload the previous entry and get ready to go protest and now she was going in on making an H and R Block appointment... I think she knows the truth... I think she needs to hear me say it... she needs to face it... Its like when your dying of cancer, you have time to make your peace.... sure when it ultimately happens there is still sorrow, but your more prepared... and if me making it clear to her will get her to stop with the harrasment and to just enjoy the time we have left together then I want that for her.... I am gonna start moving back in with my parents soon, I want to spend more time with them before I go... I want them to be reassured that I love them and my leaving doesn't have to do with some failure or fault of their own.
I am sure even after I tell my mom my intentions she will go on to deny that it will ever happen....
Isn't it funny what we do sometimes....
So I synced some music to my phone before I left to protest at the marathon at Washington Square... equipped with my bible, my outlaw's hat and scarf and some warm weather gear I set out.... humming....
I still hear the crowd cheering the runners on...
“Keep it up! Keep going!! Almost there!!!”
As I walk along the road some person on beacon st has his or her window open and is sitting there in their apartment playing the tambourine to a rhythm...
I smile inwardly..
I walk on... following the runners on the opposite side of the street, the rain blowing slightly with a head wind.. I pull my hat down a little bit more, lower my head, keep on humming....
As I pass by a man standing on the side walk and another woman walking in the opposite direction “I thought you were gonna run the race?” He joked to the other woman passing by him at the same time, I look over to see if he was talking to her or me, when I do he is looking at the woman.... I smile... I keep walking... I keep humming...
I make it to the top of the hill, and walk past my work... I see some coworkers of mine out on the patio packing up some stuff. I make myself invisible under my hat, lifting my shoulders... can't stop now...
I humm...
“Sin was strong But Jesus is stronger Our shame was great But Jesus you're greater
Great was the debt that we owed And how high was the price of our healing Paid in full by the One who is worthy Come let us worship Him
Raised to life with Christ the Savior In His name a new creation Now our song will rise Adoring Christ the Lord”
AS I sit here... thinking about what I face... I am reminded I am not alone...
I used to fall asleep to this album at school a lot... I'm glad I put on some Mumford...
“Cold is the water It freezes your already cold mind Already cold, cold mind And death is at your doorstep And it will steal your innocence But it will not steal your substance
But you are not alone in this And you are not alone in this As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand Hold your hand
And you are the mother The mother of your baby child The one to whom you gave life And you have your choices And these are what make man great His ladder to the stars
But you are not alone in this And you are not alone in this As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand Hold your hand
But I will tell the night And whisper, "Lose your sight" But I can't move the mountains for you”
So I get down to Washington square. I negotiate a good spot and take off my backpack, pull out my bluetooth speaker. Boy was I glad I got the water resistant one. I put on some gloves and take out my sign. I que up the few Elevation Worship songs I was able to sync on my phone this morning before I decided, or god decieded I should go. See. I was debating whether or not to stop the queue... whether to leave the phone hear to continue syncing... and I had my phone in my hand and I was debating with the sync screen up... Just when I thought I wouldn't bring my phone, that I would leave it to finish syncing, the heat from my thumb hovering over the screen must have caused it to stop syncing....
I check out to see what songs were synced... good enough... I set out... and looking back I am very happy that I did bring my phone... I got some good images some good video..
So I got there, started playing those songs I queued, and then held up my sign. I had to hold it high to get over some people that were standing in the front... I tried to hold it long... the pose... it was tough... I had to pray for strength to hold it high...
I noticed the officers took notice... one cop came over and took a picture of me to send it to whoever... analyze the threat... ultimately noone came over to me... So I stood there for a bit... one woman near by looked back at me and saw my sign and looked back to the runners shaking her head...
“how dare I sully this sacred event with a protest.... the memory of the Boston bombing so fresh...”
“this isn't about me... its for the runners.... what am I doing... whats the point...”
I stood there beating back the onslaught of reasons how what I was doing was pointless... how nothing will be accomplished form this...
I turn my focus to the music I have playing... I pray for strength.... to keep my arms up for the glory of god...
I settle in... I watch the runners as they go by... running their race... their eyes ahead, their focus on each step they take... I thought about life... the message...
“I will trust in you... cus your all I need.... you are allllll iiiii neeeed”
Who will hear this message? Who will take their eyes off the race they have to see the sign...?
Who will run a race for something else... something greater than their false sense of accomplishment...
..
But as discouraged as I was... I was also encouraged, by the determination... the focus... the will...
It was inspiring, uplifting, promising... to see that... that determination... it was powerful..
I thought about how sure I am we can persevere when we set our eyes on the truth... and run that race... despite all of the things dragging us away... we can push ourselves beyond the physical torment.. for promise of something greater... after all of the pain...
Anyways.. I went on to get some shots of the military acting as police and have some run ins but I am getting tired... I just want to upload this..
“Hebrews 12 says: 'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.'
Jesus, we give You our praise, You're our greatest prize, our greatest treasure and we will forsake everything to the joy of knowing You. We worship You alone in this place.
Everything All I am and all I have to bring I will give to You my everything All I am and all I have to bring I will give to You my everything All I am and all I have to bring I will give to You my everything All I am and all I have to bring I will give to You my
Everything (and I will follow, my heart surrenders) All I am and all I have to bring (my Jesus I am Yours) I will give to You my everything (and I will follow, my life in Your hands) All I am and all I have to bring (my Jesus I am Yours) I will give to You my everything”
Before I go I just wanted to mention one thing... this morning, when I woke up... I saw a video of some cops in Brooklyn trying to arrest someone... in the process a dog ran out and jumped up on a woman officer and a cop pulled out his gun and fired a shot at the dog with the intent to kill, but the shot missed and the dog ran away..
http://www.infowars.com/video-cop-shoots-at-dog-in-crowded-area-you-almost-shot-me/
It just made me think how we are going to need to temper our fear if we can make it through this... maybe one time we fire a shot and we aren't so lucky.... the bullet lands in the wrong target... we are going to need to temper our hate, our anger, our frustration...
mercy...
In front of me while I was holding up the sign was a dad with his two young kids, the older, son had his hand out over the barricade... reaching out... leaving it out there for someone to high five... many ran right by... they couldn’t spare the energy.. the focus...
but others... others reached back...
The younger, little girl pleaded with her father to go home or to go to the car.... she was cold... but he insisted they stay a little longer.... I gave her the warmth of my prayers...
“What a cheesy mother fucker this guy....”
Isis beheaded more Christians who wouldn't renounce their faith and convert to islam and submit to their laws, and pay their taxes...
http://www.infowars.com/isis-executes-more-christians-in-libya-video-shows/
Whose the fucking cheesy one... ask yourself that...
...
question yourself...
“And you told me you were sorry And you did not want to pray Looked outside your window As I went outside away The street it was much warmer On my bare feet than the rain That fell out of the sky It’s like my thoughts fell from that day, oh
I part I want more handful of the rain that felt that day I collected in my spare time As I walked back home that day And the night you said you’re sorry On the night my colors changed I waved at your from outside As you screamed about my shade
I’ll never leave, I’ll always stay I swear on all that I keep safe I’ll never leave, I’ll always stay I swear on all that I keep safe
A tree I’ll grow, to let you know My love is older than my soul A tree I’ll grow, to let you know My love is older than my soul A tree I’ll grow, to let you know My love is older than my soul A tree I’ll grow, to let you know My love is older than my soul
Pluto smile your well known face Your tappin shoes, your wicked grace Your precious time, your darker days Days I left you with no space To breathe or ever think of me Without the worry that I’ll always leave
I’ll never leave, I’ll always stay I swear on all that I keep safe I’ll never leave, I’ll always stay I swear on all that I keep safe I’ll never leave, I’ll always stay I swear on all that I keep safe I’ll never leave, I’ll always stay I swear, I swear, I swear, I swear
But it gets harder and harder But my love is older than my soul But my love is older than my soul But it gets harder and harder But my love is older than my soul But my love is older than my soul
A tree I’ll grow, to let you know My love is older than my soul A tree I’ll grow, to let you know My love is older than my soul A tree I’ll grow, to let you know My love is older than my soul A tree I’ll grow, to let you know My love is older than my soul.”
On my way back to my place after getting some food at Eagles.. I walked by some dude... He looks at me and says, "I'm shitfaced man.. I'm fucking sorry."
I smile, while thinking that I am going crazy... then I think maybe shit is just getting real... I think how sad it is that I question my sanity in this insane world...